The younger you identify problematic behavior in kids, the easier it is to rectify it. Don’t panic if you’ve observed bullying behavior in your toddler. Rather, use the following tips to approach the situation and change your child’s behavior.
Explain The Consequences
As a toddler, your child is just starting to develop their communication and social skills. They may not understand the consequences of being mean to others, so it’s up to you as a parent to explain it to them.
Parenting recommends talking to your toddler about what will happen if they continue to be a bully. For example, other children won’t want to play with him or her. Discuss how bullying makes other people feel and encourage your toddler to think about how they would react.
The younger your child is, the more difficult it will be to understand these concepts. You need to make sure to use age-appropriate language. For very young kids, consider picking up a book about bullying to help educate them in a more inviting, visual way.
Right The Wrong
It’s important for children to learn from a young age about the need to right our wrongs. Don’t just stop curbing your child’s bullying behavior into the future; look at what they can do in the present to make things right.
This looks different depending on the child and context. It also has to be age-appropriate. You can’t expect a 2-year-old to write a letter of apology or prepare a speech.
What you can do is explain to your toddler what an apology is and why it’s important. Consider having your child go up to the other kid they were meant to in order to say “I’m sorry” face to face.
Be sure to also ask your toddler what they could’ve done differently and suggest they do something kind. For example, if your kid has been excluding another child, suggest they invite them to hang out, or they can bring a special snack to share with a child they’ve been mean to.
Teach Them To Use Their Words
Toddlers who express bullying behavior often do so because they’re frustrated over something. Maybe your child feels stressed out or upset that they didn’t get their way. But at such a young age, they have few ways to express frustration or discontentment.
As a parent, you need to teach your child to communicate effectively. Once you’ve explained to them why bullying behavior is bad, give them other options for expressing themselves, like using their words, Parents says.
Go over specific scenarios and explain what an appropriate reaction would be. Give your child specific phrases they can use to express their feelings. A 2-year-old is going to have a limited vocabulary, but the earlier you start teaching them the importance of using words and not actions to express feelings, the more in control they’ll feel.
Stop Play Fighting
Your toddler may be getting physically aggressive with other kids if they’re used to play fighting. They may not intend to be mean or hurtful; rather, they may assume that being aggressive is all in good fun.
To prevent any confusion, it’s best to avoid play fighting altogether. If your child strikes or pushes you – even if it’s not harsh – react with a disappointed face and say something clearly, like, “It hurts me when you do that.”
Whatever you do, don’t react to play fighting with a smile or laugh. This will give your toddler the perspective that fighting is fun, and they may try to recreate this at the playground or daycare, leading to a bad situation.
Evaluate Your Own Behavior
Children often mimic the behavior they’ve observed around them, so they may have picked up bad habits from someone in their life. Child Mind instructs parents to reflect on where their child may have been exposed to aggressive or unkind behavior, which may contribute to their bullying.
It could be a parent, sibling, or another family member who’s demonstrating behavior that’s causing your toddler to act out against others. Don’t automatically assume your actions aren’t playing a role.
Consider what you can do to create a more positive home environment to support kind behavior in your child.
Use Positive Reinforcement
Finally, it’s important to use positive reinforcement to encourage your child to avoid mean behavior. This strategy uses a reinforcing stimulus – rewards like a compliment, high-five, or a material item – to help children understand that positive behavior has positive consequences. When you see your child acting with kindness, use enthusiastic body language and words to point out their behavior.